CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize