Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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