hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
love makes seman taste better
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
