Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
