I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Randomize
