either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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