I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I see more hoeing in ur future
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