hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
