Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize