I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
