wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize