you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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