There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
