if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
