Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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