his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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