is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
