Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
