Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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