I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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