i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
