Your tits are I can't wait for
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
