i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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