First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
