Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I wish I could teleport
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
