I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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