Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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