handjob tips. give me some.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
