Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
