I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
