Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
