Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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