I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
