he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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