That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
