at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
