I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
