i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
