real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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