You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
