How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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