What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
