I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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