I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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