You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
