It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
