Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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