So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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