Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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