Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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