i barfeds in our rink
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
