In the future we'll all be gay
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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