White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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