Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
