I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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