he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
