she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
So squirting runs in the family.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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