I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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