what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
