So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
