Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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