Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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