you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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