she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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