Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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