You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
