can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
