I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
