she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
